I’ve written before about my experience with depression — but this year, the experience took on a quieter, almost imperceptible shape. Between big life changes, keeping up with the news, and the daily doings of motherhood, I didn’t recognize the slow narrowing until I found myself paralyzed by intrusive thoughts and unable to make even small decisions without spiraling.
“I found myself paralyzed by intrusive thoughts and unable to make even small decisions without spiraling.”
I was confused. My life was richer than it had ever been before, and I’d done a lot of work to design it based on my priorities. After a particularly poignant session where we’d discussed how my passion for sustainability and low-waste living had turned into a crippling obsession, my therapist kindly offered that I may be suffering from a scarcity mindset.
What is a scarcity mindset?
A scarcity mindset is a way of thinking rooted in the belief that there is never enough — not enough time, money, energy, support, opportunities, or even personal worth. When someone is operating from scarcity, their thoughts and behaviors are shaped by fear of lack rather than trust in sufficiency.
“A scarcity mindset is a way of thinking rooted in the belief that there is never enough — not enough time, money, energy, support, opportunities, or even personal worth.”
At its core, a scarcity mindset narrows your focus. Psychologists describe it as a cognitive state where perceived shortage consumes mental bandwidth, making it harder to think clearly, plan long-term, or feel at ease. You may find yourself constantly worrying about what could go wrong, comparing yourself to others, or feeling behind, no matter how much you accomplish. For me, this looked like fixating on small problems because I was trying to figure out the best possible solution without
Emotionally, a scarcity mindset often shows up as anxiety, irritability, guilt, or chronic self-criticism. You might struggle to rest without feeling unproductive, say yes when you’re depleted out of fear of missing out, or feel undeserving of help, pleasure, or abundance. In motherhood or caregiving seasons, it can be especially pronounced — there’s rarely enough time or space, and your own needs can feel perpetually postponed.
Importantly, a scarcity mindset isn’t a personal failing. It often develops in response to real experiences: Financial stress, major life transitions, trauma, burnout, or prolonged uncertainty. The brain adapts to protect you, but over time, this protective mechanism can keep you stuck in survival mode.
“A scarcity mindset isn’t a personal failing.”
Scarcity has a way of disguising itself as responsibility. It told me I was being vigilant, realistic, and prepared. In truth, I was experiencing tunnel vision and hypervigilance. I soon came to view everything — my work, my relationships, my capacity (joy, goodness, love, even) — as finite and fragile.
Neuroscience explains that when the brain perceives scarcity, it shifts into survival mode, prioritizing short-term problem-solving over long-term thinking. The mind becomes consumed with lack, crowding out creativity, flexibility, and joy. I could feel this happening in real time.
My thoughts looped endlessly around what I didn’t have enough of: time, energy, certainty, resilience. My nervous system was exhausted, my relationships strained, my work harder than it needed to be. And so, slowly, I began asking what it might look like to choose gentleness and abundance instead.
The things that are helping me heal
A sufficiency or abundance mindset is where you begin to trust that your needs matter, resources can grow, and you are allowed to receive support. Healing a scarcity mindset is less about “thinking positively” and more about restoring safety, stability, and self-compassion — so this is what we’re building on.
“A sufficiency or abundance mindset is where you begin to trust that your needs matter, resources can grow, and you are allowed to receive support.”
Creativity. I’ve been dabbling in different creative practices — drawing, collaging, painting, and crafting — which is something scarcity had previously prevented me from doing. But lately, I’m finding freedom and healing in scribbling an oil pastel on a page for the sheer pleasure of it instead of holding onto it for some hypothetical project. I’m also writing more for personal pleasure and without the pressure that it needs to become something. I can waste as many words on the page as I want to.
Spirituality. After a decade of re-evaluating what my faith means to me, I’m returning to music that centers spirituality, and that once was a profound comfort to me. I don’t have to know what it all means for me to partake and give my nervous system the gift of that comfort. I’m also really enjoying learning about the neuroscience behind how music can heal us and seeking out those tunes.
Heartfelt affirmations. Here are a few I am saying to myself these days: There is enough to go around. Goodness is on its way to me. I can provide for my family. I can take care of my own needs. I have enough. I am capable.
Resisting extremes. Throughout this experience, I’ve learned that a scarcity mindset is based on “all-or-nothing” thinking by reinforcing the idea of scarcity, exhausting the nervous system, and preventing one from having a growth mindset. As much as I like to dive headfirst into tackling a perceived problem (No spend year! No waste goals!) big goals are not a great place for me right now, and instead, I’m letting gentleness be my guiding light.
Prioritizing play. Moving forward, we’re prioritizing dates, music, weekend getaways, jumping on the trampoline, playing make-believe with my kids, and long afternoons snuggling and reading together. Indulging in a little treat and not overthinking it. Joy is not a luxury, but an act of resistance and a literal lifeline when we’re trying to heal. And a good life doesn’t come from sitting around and thinking about how to have one — it comes from actually living.
Why I’m doubling down on self-love
Gone are the days of overthinking how to meet my own needs. The important thing is that they’re met and we can re-evaluate from there if needed. Regular therapy, nourishing foods, body care, and soft clothing have all skyrocketed to the top of my routine to-dos.
Most of all, though, what all of this boils down to is going easier on myself. Noticing when my inner voice becomes sharp and intentionally softening it. Identifying a need and meeting it instead of qualifying it.
“What all of this boils down to is going easier on myself.”
If you’re struggling, please know you’re not alone, and that self-love is not navel-gazing — it’s nurturing yourself the way you would any dear loved one, and every one of us is worthy of that.
So in these final days of the year, what might it look like to turn toward yourself with compassion and abundance? What can you do for the sake of enjoyment and nothing else? How can you lavish yourself with goodness like you would someone you love?
Kate Arceo is the Community Manager at The Good Trade. She has a Bachelor of Science from Evangel University and has over 5 years of experience reviewing sustainable home and lifestyle brands, as well as organic kids’ apparel and nontoxic cosmetics. When she’s not hosting dinner parties with her husband at their home in Southern California, you can find her sipping a latte at their local coffee house or shopping for strawberries with her kids at the farmers market. Say hi on Instagram!
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