I’ve never been great at planning vacations — or even a simple night out with friends. Most of the big trips I’ve taken have come together by chance. If they didn’t, I’d find myself ahead of a long weekend, scrambling to put something together with whoever was free. More often than not, I ended up spending the time on my own. Normally, I enjoy alone time, but in those moments, it was fraught. I’d convince myself I was enjoying the space while resentment slowly crept in as I scrolled through the smiling vacation photos filling my feed. It seemed to me that everyone else had it all figured out, never spent time alone, and had “built-in” plans forever. But by Monday, my feelings would fade.
“My summer travels have looked like hastily planned weekends away before the breeze gets too cool to enjoy long dinners al fresco.”
For the past couple years, my summer travels have looked like hastily planned weekends away before the breeze gets too cool to enjoy long dinners al fresco. These trips were a little too late, constrained by time, and underpinned by the sad feeling that summer was slipping away and I hadn’t done anything about it. Other times, I’ve skipped summer travel altogether. Sometimes it was because of a big life change, like moving apartments. Other times, it was a writing project or hosting a steady stream of visitors. All of these were good reasons, but they didn’t stop me from feeling left out of the season’s rhythm, like I’d missed the so-called summer travel everyone else seemed to enjoy.
So, how do they do it? I’ve wondered about the travelers. How do they make plans? When? Do they have more money, more energy, or simply more desire to go than I do? Do I even want to do it like them?
If your summer slipped by without a big trip this year, you’re not alone — and it doesn’t mean you’re not a travel person. In fact, this in-between space can be an opportunity to reflect on what part you want travel to play in your life. Now’s the time to start planning for next summer, develop your specific take and tastes on jetsetting, or look for ways to deepen your experience and relax just where you are. 😌
What are the benefits of travel (and the pitfalls)?
Travel cracks us open in the best way. Stepping into a new place gives us fresh eyes (and ears, etc.) — suddenly we’re tasting foods we’ve never tried, hearing languages we don’t fully understand, and noticing little details that would normally blur into the background. That sense of novelty isn’t just fun; it can actually help ease stress, lift mood, and even spark your creativity. For your mental health, a trip (even a short one) can do a lot to remind us that life is bigger than our daily worries. And whether it’s deepening bonds with your travel partner or ordering a meal in a new language from a stranger, travel has a way of softening us to the social bond, too.
“That sense of novelty isn’t just fun; it can actually help ease stress, lift mood, and even spark your creativity.”
But there’s also the flip side: Travel can be exhausting and even anxiety-inducing. Just arriving at the airport — not to mention the jet lag and constant decision-making — can wear you down more than it picks you up. Even before traveling begins, the expectation of a perfect trip can instill added stress. We rarely think about this when we’re feeling the specific mix of wanderlust and envy at other people’s travels, but it is so true. Traveling takes work and resources. And of course, there’s the environmental impact. Airplanes leave a big carbon footprint, and many destinations struggle with overtourism, which can harm local ecosystems and communities. The awareness of ourselves as tourists playing a part in these systems can also leave us feeling guilty.
So, before you sign onto something that leaves you feeling mentally maxed out, it’s good to be intentional and consider what kind of travel suits you, the speed and intensity of your itinerary, and all the other details — including if you want to take to take a trip at all, or if you’d be better off investing in yourself at home.
What to do next:
Take a step back and consider your perspective
It’s easy to get swept up in the cultural expectation that travel is a “must” every summer, as though staying put means we’re somehow missing out. But taking a step back gives you space to ask what you actually want from the idea of travel in the first place. Is it rest, a sense of adventure, a way to connect with loved ones, or simply a change of scenery? Giving yourself time to reflect can help you separate genuine desire from comparison and pressure.
When you tune into your own motivations, you can reframe travel as something deeply personal rather than performative. Maybe you realize you crave quiet time by the water more than a whirlwind trip abroad (at least this year), or that the connectedness you long for can be found just as easily in a shared dinner with an old friend. This self-awareness not only reduces the FOMO factor but also ensures that, when you do travel, it aligns with your values and actually fills your cup.
Find out if travel is a priority for you — and if it is, why? Getting honest with yourself about this is fantastic for your personal development and as a scaffolding for planning what happens next.
Use the money (and time) you’ve saved to invest in something closer to home
Not traveling this summer doesn’t mean you’ve lost out — it may actually mean you’ve gained (or saved!) something. Flights, hotels, and vacation meals add up, and that saved money can be redirected toward experiences or comforts that make your daily experience richer. Consider taking yourself and a friend out to dinner, buying a more expensive ingredient you’ve never tried from the farmer’s market, attending a new class, or investing in a small home upgrade instead.
These might be things you’d normally stop yourself from doing — but with a new framework, you can feel empowered to spend on them without qualification. In my experience, spending intentionally like this can bring a surprising sense of joy and satisfaction.
You might also consider how to use your time in a similar way, if you’re not in a position to spend on these pleasures. All it takes is access to the internet or the library to allow yourself to dive deep into a fascinating research hole or pick up a novel that’s been on your TBR for months (or years — no judgment!). Turning off your phone and getting into a flow state can be enlivening and restorative, and we often go too long without that feeling. Just because you’re not traveling doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give yourself permission to enjoy.
Start making plans for next year now
If you’ve thought through all of these prompts and travel still tugs at your heartstrings, now is the perfect time to start dreaming and planning ahead. When you take small, early steps like researching accommodations, blocking time on your calendar, or setting aside a savings fund, you give yourself the gift of ease and anticipation. Instead of scrambling at the very last minute, you create space to choose the travel plans that actually excite you and reflect your priorities.
If you’re like me and you don’t naturally find yourself a part of group travel plans (but you’d like to be next year), start assembling some friends around your wants and interests — or see what others are thinking for the year ahead. It can feel impossible or unlikely that others would want to do the trip you’re envisioning, but trust me, if you send your signal out into the static, you’ll get something back. Other things can feel impossible, too, like committing to traveling alone. Or like finding the finances for the trip you’re dreaming of. Just keep honing in on the purpose of the trip, and bring that into alignment with your plans and budget.
Even if you end up with a simple plan like promising yourself one weekend away, mapping out a slower-paced trip, or making a reservation at the new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try, you’re building a future for yourself. You’re one of the travel people now.
Ashley D’Arcy is the Senior Editor at The Good Trade. She holds an MA in Philosophy from The New School for Social Research and has contributed to esteemed outlets such as The Nation, 032c, and Yale School of Management’s Insights where she’s leveraged her expertise in making complex ideas accessible to a broad audience. In addition to her editorial work, she is training as a psychoanalytic mental health professional and provides care to patients in New York City. Ashley also explores sustainable fashion, clean beauty, and wellness trends, combining thoughtful cultural critiques with a commitment to mindful living.
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